The following is an excerpt from the Way of Life website about the woman’s biblical role in the home. (Note: Liberties have been taken with formatting and adding Scripture where deemed appropriate for further clarity and readability.) The original article in its entirety can be found at the source link provided at the bottom of this post. Angela
This is the Greek oikouros, which is a combination of oikos (home) and ouros (a keeper). It means “one who guards the house, one who stays at home, domestically inclined.” 1 Timothy 5:14 says the wife/mother is to “guide the house”. This is the Greek oikodespoteo, which is a combination of oiko (house) and despotes (ruler). It is a strong word, meaning master of the house, governor, manager.
This was the role that Joseph had under Potiphar:
“… he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand.” — Genesis 39:4
The wife governs the household affairs under her husband’s authority and oversight. This is the exalted biblical role of a wife. She is the household governor. She orders it.
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” — Proverbs 31:27
The modern versions read “working at home” (ASV, ESV, Vine, Wuest) from the critical Greek text (oikourgos, oikos – home and ergon – work). This is a much weaker concept. The mother is not merely a worker at home; she is the guardian of the home under the husband’s authority and supervision.
What “keepers at home” means is that the chief responsibility of the Christian wife and mother is her home, and she should focus her attention on this and not do anything that would cause her to neglect it. No one can take the place of a wife and mother, and if she neglects her duty toward the husband or children, great harm results.
The job of “keeper at home” and “guide of the house” is very large. The godly wife is not just a maid and cook. She does everything she can to make the home what God wants it to be:
- She must concentrate her attention on developing a sober, discreet mind by a serious relationship with the Word of God and a testing mindset.
- She must develop and pursue chastity and goodness.
- She must study how to love her husband, how to be obedient to him, how to help him, how to encourage him.
- She must be the teacher of her children by studying how to love them, how to understand them, how to discipline them, how to educate them, how to disciple them, how to teach them to go in God’s will. (Proverbs 22:6)
- She is a friend, a lover, a nurse, a chef, an organizer, an educator, a disciplinarian, an evangelist, a discipler.
- She must understand nutrition, diet, and healthcare.
- She must know how to honor her husband and how to reach the hearts of her children.
- She must be a Bible student and a student of life.
- She needs a good education in general and a good Bible education in particular.
The home is a tremendously important institution. It is the first institution that God made when He brought Eve to Adam and performed the first marriage, as recorded in Genesis 2. The home is for the purpose of raising up a godly seed for God’s glory. The prophet Malachi described this:
“And did not he make one? … And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed…” — Malachi 2:15
The context is marriage. The husband and wife are made one by God, and when He gives them children, he is seeking a godly seed. Children do not belong to parents. Both parents and children belong to God, and the parents are tasked with raising the children to know God.
This does not mean that the woman can do nothing outside of the home. Comparing Scripture with Scripture, we know that the virtuous woman does many things (Proverbs 31:10-31):
- She seeks wool and flax — Proverbs 31:13
- She brings her food from afar — Proverbs 31:14
- She buys a field and plants a vineyard — Proverbs 31:16
- She stretches out her hands to the poor — Proverbs 31:20
But her work outside of the home is done in the context of fulfilling her duties as a godly wife and mother and contributing to the blessing of the household and does not cause her to neglect such duties.
For the wife to be the keeper at home requires the husband’s commitment. A fundamental key is the husband and wife being in unity and the husband being fully supportive.
Modern society does everything possible to get the mother out of the home and to encourage parents to turn the children over to babysitters and schools. It is the product of feminism, which began to spread at the end of the 19th century. Feminist philosophy is rebellion to God’s Word. Feminism teaches that women should do whatever they please, rather than submit to fathers and husbands. It teaches that women can do anything a man can do, downplaying—even denying—the fundamental differences between male and female. It teaches that being keepers at home is bondage, and women need to be liberated from such things. This is not the Bible way, and the fruit has been terrible. It has been a major contributor to the weakening of the home and the explosion of divorce. It has left the children without direct parental supervision.
Each family must make these decisions before the Lord. Pastors are the teachers and overseers of the assembly, but a pastor is not the head of the homes in the assembly. The husband and father is sole head of the home under Christ, and he must make these decisions in conjunction with his wife; they are one flesh:
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” — Ephesians 5:31
The husband and wife do not have the authority to ignore or disobey the Word of God, but they have the authority to interpret the Word of God and to apply it to their family situation:
“But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.” — 1 John 2:27
In some cases, for example, the children are in a church school, and mothers work in the school and church. In that type of situation, the mothers are not neglecting their children, because the children are in the school.
There are extenuating circumstances that must be taken into account in regard to women being keepers at home. Sometimes the husband is unable to work, for example, and the wife is called upon to become the “chief bread winner.” We must exercise mercy and grace in such matters.